THE GLOBE
PO BOX 5079 (51102)
1825 JACKSON ST.
SIOUX CITY, IA (51105)
712.255.2550
800.352.9035
WWW.CATHOLICGLOBE.ORG

By Jerry Eaton, LMSW
Executive Director
Catholic Charities

In my work at Catholic Charities I have become aware of a growing distance between what people believe and how they live. I have never met anyone that didn’t want to get along better. I have never met anyone that didn’t want to be happy, healthy and successful. I have never met anyone that didn’t want to be safe and secure. I have never met anyone who didn’t want to be treated with respect and honor. I have never met anyone who didn’t believe it would be better if people actually lived up to their beliefs; and underpinning all faiths is the core value and belief that we should love one another.

Yet, in society, the secular concept of fairness, not love, dominates how we believe we should treat others. Not love for our neighbor, not caring for our neighbor; but fairness to our neighbor. We look to our neighbor and say he or she has the same opportunities we have, the same choices we have, and when they struggle when we don’t, in simple fairness we owe them nothing. We don’t expect ourselves to look at others and to get to know them well enough to actually love them or care about them, before we judge them.

The logical and dominating societal position that is based in our social, business and political structures is fairness, not caring or love. Governments can’t love and aren’t designed to love, businesses are about profit not love and caring, and our social structure revolves around our business and political structures - we all know that- in reality- the best we can hope for is for government, business, and social structures to be fair. 

As we are guided by fairness, what becomes of love, what becomes of caring? We still love our children, our parents, our families and friends. Love for one another that includes more than our children, our parents, our families and friends as an overall guide for life can end up being replaced in our minds by fairness as to what is asked from us in our day to day relationships.

Yet, that isn’t what we believe in our faith is it? Did Christ give us a new commandment to be fair to others, or to love others? In my work at Catholic Charities based in putting the love of God into action can, and does, work within families and with our clients as they face any number of personal, social and societal problems. We take the time to get to know, understand, and find what God has placed in each human heart. We take the time to bring that strength into the open, build on it, and develop options that honor the specific needs of our clients.

We see it in our work every day, and we recognize how true the quote from the psychiatrist M. Scoot Peck is when he writes - “The assessment of another’s needs is an act of responsibility so complex that it can only be executed wisely when one operates with genuine love for the other.”

When we operate from genuine love for the other the results are astoundingly different than when we focus on the issue, on fairness, on a diagnosis, on options known to work with others without accepting the complex responsibility to genuinely love, care, and connect with the other.

I’ve noticed in my work and in the various meetings I go to, and with the various people that come in to ensure “best practices”, that there is a growing reliance on business methods like management by objectives, and science; as well as the emphasis on fairness I have already written about. These seem to be becoming the underpinnings of society and often the dominating forces that we take for granted, and that must be used as our focus points when we seek to understand, find the problem, and solve it. As this is done love can be left out; as if love and caring don’t count, or need to be part of the “equation.”

We all know our society is out of balance. I believe that while we shouldn’t abandon all of the proven benefits of secular thinking, we need to recognize that what faith asks of us, and what love and caring ask of us, are just as important if we are to improve any aspect of our lives, our work and our society.

Secular methods and concepts often end up being about issues, provable goals and objectives, all good things, while leaving out the basis of what it to be human and how to develop our humanity. It is very difficult, if not impossible, to successfully bring love, or the development of our humanity, into “business plans”, or problem solving sessions about social issues.

Yet, I’ve seen in our work at Catholic Charities, there is no more powerful tool available to us than our God given ability to love and care for one another if we want to solve the problems we face in every aspect of our lives.