Chastity talk hit with students

By KARA KOCZUR, Globe staff reporter
April 10, 2008

Awesome. Real. Funny. The truth.

Those were the words used to describe Jason Evert's chastity presentation, "Romance Without Regret."

Evert, who works for Catholic Answers in San Diego, Calif., traveled throughout the diocese April 1 and 2 speaking to students and adults at Charter Oak-Ute High School, Kuemper Catholic School in Carroll, St. Mary's High School in Storm Lake, St. Mary's Church in Spirit Lake, Gehlen Catholic School in Le Mars, and Bishop Heelan High School in Sioux City.

Youth could relate

"He was so energetic and he explained things so well to the point where we could relate to," said John Leinbaugh, 18, a parishioner at St. Mary's in Spirit Lake. "He attacked it from a young person's point of view. He didn't speak down to us."

Mary Klocke, a junior at Kuemper, said Evert was an insightful speaker who knew how to relate to teens and grab their attention. "It felt like having a conversation with someone who understands," she said.

Jessi Timmins, a sophomore at Gehlen, agreed. "He related his talk to our lives and he made it interesting. He was really funny."

Evert's humor, fast-paced delivery and peppering of statistics and facts kept students engaged, said Peggy Staley of Charter Oak, who organized Evert's trip to the diocese.

"[The students] thought he was funny," she said of Evert's talk at Charter Oak-Ute High School, where about 500 people attended, half of which were adults. "You could tell the crowd was very into his talk. He wasn't struggling to keep their attention."

Staley said she liked that Evert included facts about STDs, birth control and cohabitation, which made it more professional. More importantly, however, Evert told the youth that the reasons not to have sex before marriage are more than not wanting to get a disease or reducing the risk of divorce. Ultimately, it's about love.

"He talks about all the diseases and all that sort of stuff, but when he gets to the heart of his message he says it's really about love; it all boils down to love," Staley said. "If you truly love this person that you're dating, you wouldn't do these things to them."

The fact that Evert stayed positive throughout his talk and focused on what it means to truly love someone was something that stood out for Randy Ricklefs, youth minister at St. Mary's in Spirit Lake.

"A lot of times when we hear chastity talks the message is 'This is what's going to happen if you do it,'" said Ricklefs, who estimates that 325 students and parents attended the talk in Spirit Lake. "[Evert] covered a little bit of that, but he really stressed the positive parts of remaining chaste.

It's about love

"He talked about love and [how] what we're really after is to be loved," he added. "When we're messing around, it doesn't speak of love."

Students noticed the difference, too.

"It wasn't the same old sex talk," said Alexis Wiltgen, a sophomore at Gehlen.

"It just opens your eyes and it's the truth," said Amy Pattison, a senior at Heelan. "Finally someone's just telling you the blunt truth about everything instead of hiding and going around it."

Evert's message to the girls about respecting themselves and their bodies was one thing that got Pattison's attention. "You don't have to dress sleazy for a guy to like you," she said.

Modesty was also something that stood out in his talk for Theresa Luensmann. Luensmann, 17, attended the talk at Charter Oak-Ute High School with her youth group from Sacred Heart in Manning.

"I liked when Jason talked about dressing modestly and how that can be more attractive than showing a lot of skin," she said. "I also liked how he addressed what real love was and to imagine your future husband or bride when you feel tempted."

Thinking of their future spouses was also something that stuck out in the minds of students from Gehlen, said Lisa Sitzmann, the school's director of campus ministry. Roughly 500 students and a few parents from Gehlen, Spalding Catholic and Remsen-St. Mary's attended Evert's talk in Le Mars.

"One girl came up to me and said, 'It really hit me when he said do with your boyfriend what you don't mind some other girl doing with your future husband,'" Sitzmann recalled.

Evert's energy, passion, humor and faith made him a "well-rounded package of information" for students, Sitzmann said. The biggest thing for her, she said, was how Evert included the faith, particularly the sacrament of reconciliation.

"I think a lot of students have probably crossed that threshold [of having sex] and don't know where to take it from there if they regret it," she said. "I think his message of reconciliation and of starting a new day today and making that commitment for your future bride or your future husband was huge."

Students didn't feel uncomfortable either.

"In his talk, Jason said that he wasn't looking to scare us or make us feel guilty, but he wanted to give us the facts and share real life stories that would actually help us out," said Steph Wiederin, a junior at Kuemper. "Jason made it through what we're going through."

Parents loved it too

And while students "loved" Evert, parents also found his talk eye-opening, Ricklefs said.

John FitzSimmons, 43, attended Evert's talk at Heelan. FitzSimmons has two boys at the school, one in tenth grade and the other in ninth. He also brought a daughter who is in seventh grade and another in sixth grade.

"From a parent's point of view, he reminds a parent what an important role parenting is, and how crucial it is to be there for your children - to be a source of direction and leadership instead of [being] into yourself," he said.

FitzSimmons hoped that Heelan would start a Pure Love Club, which is a chastity outreach program of Catholic Answers. The goal of the club is to promote the message of chastity and to help students develop friendships with others who are striving to live purely.

At Gehlen, Evert spoke to a group of students following his talk about how to form a Pure Love Club, Sitzmann said. Evert explained the importance of the upper classmen going into the classrooms of the seventh and eighth graders to "keep [the message] going and keep it fresh," she added.

Evert brought chastity resources with him to all the sites for students to take, including two books, one written by him and the other by his wife.

Following the presentation at Charter Oak-Ute High School, where Evert gave the secular version of his talk, parents and students were invited to St. Boniface Church in Charter Oak, where Father David Hemann of Ida Grove spoke on topics such as reconciliation and Divine Mercy, Staley said. Four priests heard the confessions of over 200 students and their parents, she added.

It was good for teenagers to hear Evert's message because in this day and age things like drugs, alcohol and the internet are easier to access, said Ben Rawlings, a junior at Heelan.

"Our generation is a totally different generation," he said, compared to his parents' generation. "There's a lot of noise and commotion going on, a lot of mixed messages. It's good to hear this message from someone of a different generation who knows what he's talking about."

Receiving such positive feedback, Staley, Ricklefs and Sitzmann said they hope they can bring Evert back again in the future.

"[The students] loved him," Staley said. "He really just hit it out of the park."