Event shows appreciation to marriage mentors

By RENEE WEBB, Globe editor
Feb. 22, 2007

EARLY - The Diocese of Sioux City extended appreciation to marriage mentors with a Feb. 17 celebration that included Mass, dinner and a dance.

"It was an opportunity for us to thank the couples who have helped with the various marriage prep programs. Our goal was to let them know we value the ministry that they help us with," said Vera Ludwig, coordinator of family programs for the diocese. She called the event a success.

According to Bev Hurni, director of adult and family ministries, about 110 people attended the celebration that was held at Sacred Heart Parish in Early. The diocese sponsored this event with the help of the Adult and Family Ministries Advisory Board.

Bishop R. Walker Nickless presided at Mass. In the homily, the bishop mentioned that as the first reading conveyed, people were asked to do something very difficult - to not only forgive, but to forgive as God forgives, perfectly and unconditionally.

Reflecting upon the Gospel that centered on the need to love one's enemies, Bishop Nickless said in doing this people are encouraged to go against the grain.

"Loving our enemies goes against everything we feel and experience as human beings. It's not what comes naturally, yet it is one of the most distinctive teachings of Jesus," he said.

The bishop acknowledged that people would not be able to live and love this way without graces from God.

"Why do we have to live this radical way?" questioned Bishop Nickless. "Why follow Jesus' teachings? There are many reasons, but one for sure is that in the long run it's good for us as human beings. It's good for our world and it's good for the civilization that we know and love. Violence on any level begets violence. Hatred and revenge causes more hatred and revenge. Loving as Jesus asks reverses the circle."

He encouraged people to imitate Jesus so that they can become holy and draw closer to God.

Bishop Nickless told the marriage mentors, most of whom were married, that they knew well the joy and hardship of loving, giving and sharing without condition.

"I thank you for showing us God's selfless gift of himself by the way you live your married lives," he said.

The bishop offered a blessing over married couples as the liturgy drew to a close.

Ron Demers, a native of Storm Lake who now serves as the weather director at KTIV Channel 4 in Sioux City, served as the master of ceremonies for the evening.

Hurni shared a few thoughts with the crowd prior to the dinner. She extended thanks to the people who helped to organize the event and to the people for attending, but mostly for their willingness to share their time in the marriage prep ministries.

She acknowledged that she is aware that some feel discouragement from time to time when the people they prepare for marriage don't seem to value their faith as much as they do.

"But I want to encourage you not to lose heart. With the research that comes into our office, it shows that many young people have chosen not to get married in the church. They sometimes cohabitate or sometimes they get married by the justice of the peace. So every time we have a couple come to us to get married in the church, we have to praise God and recognize that this is an opportunity," said Hurni.

Sponsor couples and those who work in other marriage prep programs such as Engaged Encounter, she noted, can evangelize to the young couples through their own example.

After the dinner, Bishop Nickless addressed the crowd.

"I want to thank all of you in your help promoting, preparing and supporting husbands and wives to live out the marriage sacrament," he said.

He told them that they were a help to the priests in preparing couples for marriage as well as reaching out to others in order for marriages to become stronger.

"First and foremost you are called to live your lives as partners in your own marriage," said the bishop. "As Bev said, your daily living out the selfless giving of yourselves to each other is a good thing not only for yourselves and your families but also for the church and ultimately for the world."

Bishop Nickless said there was no doubt that marriage was under attack from society today. Some of the issues that must be dealt with in this day and age include such things as civil unions, cohabitation, same-sex relationships, in vitro fertilization and adoption of embryos.

"The church must be clear about what is right and wrong. Even more importantly, we must demonstrate by the way we live and the way we talk and the way we discuss the importance of the sacrament of marriage. It is God's intention that man and wife come together as one," he said.

Their strong witness makes a difference, noted the bishop, in a world that adjusts the truth about committed relationships.

The bishop went on to say that one of the promises that the husband and wife make to each other is the commitment to stick with each other through the hard times.

"That was really what Jesus was trying to say in the Gospel today. Love is hard work and all of you know that better than so many other people," said Bishop Nickless, who added that marriage was to help make people holy and contribute to the greater glory of God.

His presentation was followed by door prizes - featuring getaway packages from each deanery - and a dance.

The organizers of the event were happy with the turnout, especially given weather conditions.

Hurni mentioned that they were somewhat concerned that they missed sending invitations to some people who serve in this ministry - especially Sponsor Couples. They sought the names of these from the local pastors, but there is a chance that some names were not submitted to the diocesan office.Along with Sponsor Couples, people who help with the diocesan marriage prep programs like Cana II, Pre-Cana and Engaged Enrichment were invited to attend.

Many people shared stories with the diocesan office about how participation in this ministry brought many blessings to their own marriage.