DivorceCare program provides support to divorced separated people

By KATIE LEFEBVRE, Globe staff reporter
Feb. 8, 2007

FORT DODGE - A new program for divorced people sponsored by Holy Trinity Parish will be held in Fort Dodge.

DivorceCare is a video seminar series featuring some of the nation's foremost Christian experts on divorce and recovery topics as seen from a biblical perspective.

"It is a program designed to equip churches to conduct ongoing ministry to separated and divorced people," said Tammy Gargano, one of the facilitators. "The DivorceCare program takes a biblical approach to divorce, separation and related issues such as reconciliation, remarriage, forgiveness and the effect of divorce on children and families."

The video seminars are combined with support group discussion of the materials presented during the video.

The idea to offer the program came about after Gargano and another person attended CHIRP, a program offered at parishes in Fort Dodge. When the two were done with that program, they decided to start a divorce support group.

"I got on the Internet and found this program. It said it had been around for a long time, so I discussed it with my friend," said Gargano. "We decided to take it to Father Ed (Girres), and he was really interested in it."

Father Girres gave the okay to get the program materials and the DVDs for review. According to Gargano, since the facilitators were not familiar with the program, a pilot program was started in the fall.

"We had a group of people that we knew would help us with the process and walk through it with us," said Gargano. "We threw ourselves into it. Father Ed was great to support us and said there is a need for this in the church. He said it is time that we addressed this group of people."

At the end of the pilot program, the facilitators received feedback about DivorceCare. Gargano noted that some people had not opened a Bible for the first time in a long time.

"They felt closer to God and were looking to God to help heal through this process," said Gargano. "They felt the support of other people - just knowing you are not alone."

She continued that a good thing about the group is that there is a range of participants from people who are just separated to a person who had been divorced for 15 years.

"There are a lot of people who have not healed. They need that individual attention," said Gargano. "At the end of the 13 weeks, it is great to see the healing and the growth in the group."

It is a 13-week program that they plan to offer on a continuous basis. It is a non-denominational program that is open to anyone. Gargano along with Mindy Utley, Jackie Kelso (all parishioners at Holy Trinity Parish) and a few others will be the facilitators of the sessions.

"This is a Scripture-based program, so a lot of times people end up wanting to find a church or are drawn back to a church," said Gargano. "This is nice to get them back into that."

The start date for the program is Feb. 22. The topic that evening will be What's Happening to Me? All of the sessions will be held Thursday nights from 6:45 to 9 p.m. in the Sacred Heart Parish Center in Fort Dodge.

The other sessions will be held March 8 - Road to Healing/Finding Help; March 15 - Facing My Anger; March 29 - Facing My Depression, April 12 - Facing My Loneliness; April 19 - What Does The Owner's Manual Say?; April 26 - New Relationships; May 3 - Financial Survival; May 10 - KidCare; May 17- Single Sexuality; May 24 - Forgiveness; June 7 - Reconciliation; June 14 - Moving On, Growing Closer to God; and June 21 - potluck and open forum.

The evenings will begin with a gathering and fellowship. Each person receives a workbook called "On my Own," a Bible study that the individuals can look at and read prior to attending. There will be a discussion about what the people took from the Bible passages.

From there, they watch a DVD about the topic. The DVDs are close to a half-hour in length.

"The DVDs are expert speakers from all over," said Gargano. "It is done in a news program format."

Following the DVD, there is a break for a snack. When the group gathers together again there are small group discussions about the DVD.

"That is the support group part. We have a facilitator for each group, who have guided questions to get the discussion going," said Gargano. "Everyone takes a turn to share. We go wherever the group needs to go - sometimes off topic. It is whatever is needed at that time."

At the end of the evening, the participants spend time in shared prayer.

Participants are welcome to begin attending the group on any week. If someone has recently become separated or divorced, they can start at any time. Each session is "self-contained," and they can continue through the next 13-week cycle to view any of the topics they have not seen.

"This program you can come in immediately and start," said Gargano. "After the 13 weeks ends, we take a little break and start it over again. They are encouraged to go through two times - the entire 13 weeks. You are in a different place the second time when you hear the materials, as you were the first time. You are a little more open to some of the topics."

There is only a small one-time fee of $20 to attend, which helps to cover expenses as well as the workbook. The facilitators ask that participants let them know as soon as possible if they would like to register for the first session.

Free childcare is offered for children up to fifth grade. The facilitators ask that participants please let them know when they register if they will be bringing children.

"Single parents a lot of times can't always attend something because they need a sitter," said Gargano. "We have confirmation students who need service hours, who are more than willing to help. That has worked out nice for us."

For more information about DivorceCare, go to the Web site at www.divorcecare.org. Those interested in registering for the sessions can contact the church office, Holy Trinity Parish, at (515) 573-3616.