Retreat offered for people wounded by abortion

By KATIE LEFEBVRE, Globe staff reporter
August 31, 2006

The Diocese of Davenport recently sponsored a Project Rachel retreat for people wounded from abortion.

Vera Ludwig, coordinator of family programs for the Diocese of Sioux City, was able to attend the Project Rachel retreat.

According to Maria Shores, executive director of Rachel's Hope, there are people of all ages on the weekend. Women who have gone through an abortion, men that are post-abortive and anyone else who was affected by an abortion can attend the weekends.

"It is called Rachel's Hope because we are offering retreats for women and men who suffer because of an abortion," said Shores. "We also answer the Project Rachel line and give counseling referrals."

During the weekend retreat, the participants go through activities called Living Scriptures. They read a Gospel story and then have the "ritual afterwards," an exercise that helps the people understand the story.

"For instance, the woman is going to be stoned, but Jesus tells the men without sin to throw the first stone," said Shores. "Exercises after that would be taking a rock and saying to the person, 'Is there anyone here to condemn you?' They would say, 'No one.' You would say, 'Neither do I condemn you, go and sin no more.'"

She noted that there are many other activities working with the Scriptures that invites the people into the story and lets them be the main character.

"Throughout the weekend, each person is invited to tell their story," said Shores. "Everybody's story is different. Each person is so afraid because they think they have the worst story. When in fact, they are quite surprised that when they look around the room at other people who have gone through what they have. Each person looks at them with love and doesn't say, 'Why did you do that?' They say, 'Oh, my gosh, I am so sorry you went through that.'"

She explained that there is a spirit of compassion on the weekend. A memorial service is held as a chance for the participants to picture their children and remember their children.

"Instead of living with the guilt and the shame when they are sorry, what we do is enter into forgiveness and are able to recognize our child as a gift from God," said Shores. "Even though the child isn't with us, the child is in fact with Jesus."

Each participant is invited to write a letter to their child. It is read at the memorial service along with lighting a candle and praying for their child.

"It is like a funeral because when you have an abortion there is no one there to say that they are sorry," said Shores. "A family member died, but no one brings you a casserole because it is a secret. You keep going on with your life like nothing happened. This is a way for them to acknowledge the sin in abortion and yet also come to terms with the fact that Christ loves them and there is no unforgivable sin."

The participants are given a certificate of life that states that their child's life does matter and that the child is with Jesus.

Mass is celebrated on Saturday and Sunday along with all night adoration on Saturday night for teammates and participants. The sacrament of reconciliation is also available for anyone who wishes to go to confession.

"It was a powerful retreat," said Ludwig. "It is a healing for people who have been somehow wounded by abortion."

Ludwig mentioned that it was a group process of dealing with the loss in a manner that had a "profound affect on the participants."

"We have had members from each diocese go through the weekend and then want to be on our team," said Shores. "What happens is, once you have gone through a weekend, you are able help on the team. What we want to do is have one team of Iowa where the Diocese of Davenport could administratively do all the paperwork."

It is possible that at some point the Diocese of Sioux City could host a retreat here. There would be a team of people who had been through a weekend along with a counselor, a priest and Shores to facilitate the retreat.

Shores pointed out that they would like to offer retreats in every part of Iowa so people do not have far to travel.

"My goal is to sit down with them and see where we can go from here in our diocese," said Ludwig. "Then talk to the bishop and see how we can proceed to offer that support not just to women but everyone who is affected by the abortion."

The Diocese of Sioux City also has a Project Rachel help line and offers counseling.