Nurturing spirituality in children at home

By RENEE WEBB, Globe editor
June 9, 2005

Although school is out for the summer it doesn't mean that children should stop learning, especially when it comes to their faith.

Bev Hurni, director of adult and family ministries, mentioned that it is not necessary for parents to make their children work on worksheets and conduct formal lessons in their home in order for them to continue to learn. Teachings, she stressed, can be incorporated into everyday life in a non-structured way.

"They can tie in to conversations about faith or experiences that happen and see them as teachable moments," she said.

Vera Ludwig, coordinator of family programs, added that another way for children to learn about their faith is through adults praying with them. Whether it is a parent, a grandparent or even an aunt or uncle, they can set a good example for the children through modeling a prayerful life and faith routine.

"All of us pray for our children, but do we ever tell them we are praying for them or do it together with them?" questioned Hurni.

In her own family, Hurni mentioned that her mother-in-law made a practice of lighting candles in church on a regular basis.

"The grandchildren have grown up seeing grandma do this when they have been at Mass with her. Now, as young adults, when they have something really important that they are praying for, they call grandma and ask her to light a candle for them," she said.

As they do these traditions, Hurni suggested that adults explain the reason behind the practice, ritual or prayer form. Again, these things can present teachable moments.

"And it doesn't always have to be things in church or things that we would normally think of as spiritual," she stressed. "Vera and I had a conversation with someone recently who talked about her family summer vacation last year."

The family had gone to an amethyst mine where they could pick up and then clean up stones.

"She used it as an opportunity that all of us are like these rocks - things that happen in our lives make us hard and crusty but within each of us is a beauty," said Hurni. "I think that is the way that parents can most easily pass on the faith - in a non-structured environment like that where they seize the moment and put some reflection into it.

In a resource from the Catholic Update titled "Seeing Family Life as Holy, Warts and All," Ludwig said it offered five ways to spot holiness in the midst of family chaos. 1) Give yourself a pat on the back each day. 2) Make the most of a family meal prayer. 3) Share the good news of another's good example with the family. 4) Remember that never, ever are you alone. 5) Build up bonds of mutual support with other families and friends.

Ludwig mentioned that the reason she enjoyed the above article was because it made reference to the fact that life is not perfect but even in trying, busy times God is present.

Summer may also be a time to take part in service opportunities.

"When we plan activities, parents can also incorporate some service opportunities whether it's to help grandma out or to be involved in a local community effort," noted Hurni.

Again, conversations can arise about the importance of people offering Christian service.

Ludwig added that summer may also be a good time for families to look over the items they have around the home that they may not be using so they can give them away to people who may need them.

They suggested that families review their present family rituals and possibly add more.

Rituals, noted Lugwig, center on doing something over consistently and with meaning. They can also nurture a sense of belonging and identity. While some family rituals are tied into religious ones, they don't have to be. Even a family dinner can be considered a ritual. If people eat alone or family members are glued to the television as they eat, then that wouldn't be considered a ritual but if they use mealtime as a chance to share meaningful conversation then that could be considered a ritual.

Numerous Web sites offer tips for nurturing family spirituality. Ludwig offered a few: teachingcatholickids.com, familyandchurch.org and homefaith.com.