|
|
|
|
Archives |
|
|
Diocese offers marriage preparation opportunitiesBy KATIE LEFEBVRE, Globe staff reporter
|
| Marriage Preparation Program Dates
Engaged Enrichment: Sat. 10 a.m. to Sun. 2 p.m. Program costs: $135 per couple, room/board included PreCana: 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Program cost: $65 per couple, includes lunch Cana II: 9 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. Program cost: $60 per couple, includes lunch |
"Nobody, when they get married, wants to be miserable, but sometimes people haven't learned the skills that it takes to make a good relationship. Our programs mostly help raise people's awareness and give them some time to process those skills before they get married," said Bev Hurni, director of adult and family ministries for the Diocese of Sioux City.
The completion of the FOCCUS inventory is a first step in marriage preparation. This assessment tool helps the couple to consider their readiness for marriage. Topic areas encompass a holistic view of their relationship, family, friends and life choices.
Review of the inventory results may involve several meetings of the couple and the pastor or a member of the pastoral team. The meetings may include instructions on basic Catholic teachings and the sacrament of marriage.
"That inventory helps them identify the strengths of their relationship and the places where they could grow and develop," said Hurni.
The next part of the preparation process is usually either Sponsor Couple or Engaged Enrichment. Each of the options covers topics including but not limited to personality types, family of origin, basic communication and conflict resolution skills, budgeting, dual careers, sexuality and intimacy, Natural Family Planning, parenting and spirituality of marriage.
"We have them look back first at what they are bringing to the marriage," said Hurni. "We have them look at their family of origin, their personality type. We look at gender differences. Men and women look at things differently. People are bringing different sets of values, expectations, assumptions and that leads to conflict. Then we talk about how to work through those conflicts whether it is about finances, how to manage responsibilities of home and work, how to raise children and the importance of developing a spirituality together."
Sponsor Couple involves meetings of the engaged couple and a married couple, usually in the home of the married couple. The couples generally meet for fives sessions to complete material in a resource book.
"The reason that these kinds of programs are important is because in the society that we live in today nothing seems to be permanent - jobs, relationships. We are a consumer society so when we are tired of something or something isn't making us happy we change. We need to offer a different model for our couples that this is forever and they need to have the skills to do that," said Hurni.
Engaged Enrichment is a 30-hour format (Saturday morning through Sunday afternoon) that provides and opportunity for couples to leave the distractions and pace of daily life and focus on one another and their relationship. The team for the weekend is made up of a spiritual director and three married couples. Weekends are scheduled three times a year.
"It is wonderful that our marriage preparation programs offer both the time with the priest and with at least one other married couple," said Hurni. "Research from Creighton's Center on Marriage and Family has shown that that is the most effective kind of marriage preparation."
PreCana is offered once a year for couples who cannot participate in Sponsor Couple or Engaged Encounter. This year's session is set for April 9 in Sioux City.
"It does not have sufficient time for couples to do dialoguing there so it requires the couples to spend time outside the workshop working on the topics," said Hurni.
The Cana II program, married enrichment for a couple with one or both people having been married before, is facilitated by a Catholic Charities counselor. The next session will be offered in April.
