By KATIE LEFEBVRE, Globe staff reporter
July 22, 2004

Couples throughout the Diocese of Sioux City share the gift of their own marriage with engaged couples through the Sponsor Couple Program.

The married and engaged couples meet a total of five times to discuss different aspects of married life and what the soon to be married couple will encounter.

Doug and Vickie Livermore from Nativity of Our Lord Parish in Sioux City have been a sponsor couple for about six years now. They responded to a call for volunteers when the program started at Nativity and have been involved since.

There is a booklet that the couples go through together. They answer questions and discuss responses. The sponsor couple discusses the same questions as the engaged couple in order to give an example of what they have done in their marriage.

"The materials are really laid out to be easy on the couple," said Doug. "It is really a guided discussion. There are lessons for each night. After the first night, there isn't a great deal of preparation."

There are readings, questionnaires or activities and then a discussion. The topics of discussion include financial decisions, family planning, how to spend holidays, etc. The program also helps explain how people make decisions or what values they have based on how they were raised or what family they are from.

"The questions promote pretty good discussion," said Vickie. "It is very well laid out. What we discuss here stays here. That kind of takes the threat away from the engaged couple. We don't go report what was said."

The sponsor couple is asked to help an engaged couple and they set up a time to meet with the couple. The sponsors inform the parish when the sessions are over and let the contact person know that the program has been completed.

"It is not an evaluation of anyone," said Vickie. "It is just a way of discussing and helping people look at things."

"I think in general, they think it has been worthwhile," said Doug. "It seems to us that the program makes sure that couples have discussed with each other important topics. It hits every major topic possible. All of the different little issues that can come up in marriage."

The sponsor couple also gains from the discussions because it reaffirms the decisions that they have made in their marriage.

"You get a chance to re-discuss how you have made decisions," said Doug. "Most of the format is the engaged couple and married couple go through a similar set of questions. When you discuss how you have made decisions, it makes it easier to make decisions later."

During the meetings, there is an opening prayer and references to the Bible or quotes from the Bible. The readings are usually related in some way to marriage or the commitment that the couple will make when they say their vows.

"When it is something that is definitely religious, there is a Biblical reference, so that it points out that this isn't just some authors viewpoint, that it has importance," said Doug.

The Livermores have continued to sponsor couples because they became familiar and comfortable with the program and it works out for them to sponsor at least one couple a year. Most of the time when they work with a couple it is during the spring or summer, which works with their schedule, both of them being teachers.

"We would encourage other couples to do this," said Doug. "It is something that doesn't take any special preparation or that one couple is more qualified than another couple. I think that it really is guided discussion. I think there are a lot of people that would enjoy doing it once they got through the intimidation of the first session."