A son forgives his prodigal father

By Father Bob Schoemann, Guest Commentary
July 15, 2004

I have a story to tell you today about a man named Joe. It will be important to listen to the details of the story because the message is in the story.

On a recent Sunday after mass a young man remained in the second to last seat of the church after most people had gone. I could see he wanted to talk. I went over to him and he introduced himself as Joe. I cannot remember his last name. Joe said I am in the military at Camp Dodge here in Des Moines and I am being shipped to Iraq this week. May I go to confession? We went to the reconciliation room and Joe celebrated reconciliation.

After reconciliation I knew he had a need to continue talking. I also wanted to hear him talk because I wanted to learn more about what a person experiences as they prepare for war and leaving their family. He said he was scared and nervous. He was worried about how his wife and his parents would handle all of this.

We talked a long time. He proceeded to tell me the story of his life. I was so touched, I asked him to come to church the next Sunday to talk. He said he would like to but he was being shipped out on Friday. I asked his permission to tell his story. The story I am about to tell has nothing to do with his confession.

Joe is a 28-year-old strong and muscular well-built man. He is from North Carolina. When he was 10 years old, his father abandoned him. Joe said he grew up in a rough area in New York. As a teenager he said his life went in all of the wrong directions. He said during those bad years his mother continued to try to help him get his life together and prayed for him every day as she worried about him.

By the time he was in his late teens he began to pull his life together. On his 20th birthday he decided he needed to talk to his father whom he had not seen for ten years. He did not even know where he was. Through a relative he found his father's phone number. After he talked to his father on the phone, he went to see him.

When he arrived at his father's house he found his father was in the process of dying because his liver had been badly damaged from drinking all of those years. The doctor told the father that he had about six weeks to live unless he received a liver transplant. Joe went to a clinic and after a complete examination learned that his liver was a perfect match to his father's.

Joe donated 65 percent of his liver to his father. Both he and his father were in surgery for eight hours in rooms next to each other. Both surgeries were successful. It was the first living transplant of a liver in the university hospital in Virginia. You may know that when there are injuries to the liver, in some cases the liver can rebuild itself. In six months Joe's liver had completely rebuilt itself and the doctors gave him a clearance to be in the military. His father, who had been so close to death, had a total recovery and is healthy today.

Joe said his father did a complete turn around in his life. His father and mother are happily back together. A couple years ago his father went thru RCIA and is now active with his mom in the church.

Joe said my dad and I now are best friends. When Joe is not in the military, he and his wife live next door to his parents in North Carolina.

I asked Joe if it was hard to forgive his father for having abandoned him for 10 years. Joe said, "No, it was something I needed to do because I needed to be with my father and to be at peace."

I thought of the prodigal son story in the bible about the father forgiving the prodigal son. Only this time it was the son forgiving the prodigal father.

His example of love and forgiveness to his father gave a special meaning to me about the message of the Bible that says that the forgiveness and love we see in a human being gives us a glimpse of understanding about how much more God wants to forgive us and love us.

To hear and feel the great love Joe had for his father was very powerful to me. I asked him if it was hard to make the decision about giving his liver to his father. He said no, anyone would have done that to save the life of their father.

I thought about Joe in taking the physical and medical risk of giving his liver to his father. He gave part of his own body and blood. That helped to teach me a little more about the generosity of Jesus in giving His own body and blood on Good Friday and every time we celebrate the Eucharist.

When we finished talking, as Joe was walking to the door, he stopped, turned around and said to me: "Father would you pray for the troops?" He did not ask me to pray just for him, but to pray for the troops. I said: "Joe, I certainly will. I also want you to know that since March, every Saturday and Sunday mass we offer our first hymn from the very beginning to the end, and also the closing hymn of mass for our troops. We will continue to do this until the war is over."

He was so touched and full of gratitude, this big 240-pound man almost came to tears. He asked if he could take a bulletin as a keepsake and remembrance of our people and the parish.

I will probably never see Joe again, but he touched my life and I will never forget him.

I thank God for the message that Joe taught me about forgiveness and love.

I hope that as Joe touched my heart, that his story will touch your heart.

(This was the homily given by Father Bob Schoemann, All Saint's Church, Des Moines on May 23, 2004. It was printed in the Catholic Mirror on June 18.)