Re-Membering unites family through faith

By KENNY KEANE, Globe staff reporter
Posted March 6, 2003

A military life caused John Hessa, a member of Blessed Sacrament Parish in Sioux City, to travel around quite a bit. While his travels may have taken him to various places away from his hometown of Richmond, Va., they also played a part in taking him away from another important place - the Catholic Church.

"Because of the obligations you have with the military, a lot of times you get in the habit of not going to Mass on a regular basis," he said. "It becomes very easy after awhile not to go because you get in the habit of not going. I'm not blaming them because you've got to discipline yourself to do things.

"As time goes on, you get married and children come along. It became an issue where, I know how when I was being raised an important part was being involved with the church, and I wanted the same thing for my children."

Following his retirement from the military, Hessa moved to Sioux City in 1993. After a period of years he decided, "Hey, I really want to make this commitment." One day on the radio he heard Deacon Fred Karpuk, who heads up the Re-Membering Program, so he decided to contact him to start his journey back to the church

"It was good. Fred and the people who are involved with the program made it very easy to transition," said Hessa, who went through the program in 2000. "They were very understanding. They weren't judgmental - not to say that we shouldn't have been judged a little harshly for our actions, but they're not that way.

"They're just interested in whatever they can do to make it easy to transition back in. It was a very good experience, and I have had no regrets since then. I've never looked back."

Not only was this experience a positive one for Hessa, but it also proved to bear fruit for the rest of his family, especially his wife, Claudia, who completed the RCIA program the following year.

"The one main thing we wanted to make sure of was that the whole family was all of the same faith," she said. "We wanted to raise the kids in the Catholic faith. I was a Lutheran, and to me it's not that far off from the Catholic religion. That's why I decided that I was going to go ahead and make the change."

Hessa said he has to give his wife a lot of credit because she shared with him her belief that they needed to have God back in their lives.

"It's been positive in nature," he said. "We've always had some spirituality in our marriage, but not to this extent now that we've gone back through the sacraments and become involved.

"The children have more of a sense of what's right and wrong through God's law rather than the ambiguous secular sector where morality is a gray area that's a constantly moving target. They understand why you don't get involved in certain activities because it's God's law."

Their three children are ages 11 years, 7 years and 21 months old, with the oldest two attending parish religious education classes on Wednesdays. As a family, they attend Masses at Blessed Sacrament.

"We're practicing the same faith," Claudia said. "There's more unity as far as the family unit. We do more things together when it comes to church.

"I've formed a lot of very nice friendships through the church. I think it's an excellent place to meet people and to get together. You know everyone is basically on the same wavelength so-to-speak as far as values, morals and things like that."

After going through the process himself, Hessa now assists Deacon Karpuk with the Re-Membering Program. For those who are considering if they would like to come back to the Catholic Church, Hessa said the biggest thing he would like to stress to people is that they don't have to fear about returning.

"So many times we get people who are fearful of the first step because they're afraid of what they're going to encounter," he said. "Believe me, they're not going to encounter anything negative with the program. They can expect a very warm reception."