Catholic wedding music do's and don'ts

By Kenny Keane, Globe staff reporter
Posted February 13, 2003

As with most summers, the 2003 season should have many weddings scheduled in churches throughout the Sioux City Diocese and beyond.

One common factor that may be found in the planning for these celebrations is the desire of the young couples in particular to use contemporary or popular music during the ceremony.

According to Michael Willis, director of the Office of Worship for the Sioux City Diocese, while these couples might be approaching this from weddings they had seen in the past with music that was "cool" or "neat," the diocese is trying to approach it from celebrating the sacrament the way that all sacraments are celebrated in community.

"In my experience talking with couples about wedding music, I think one of the first things that you struggle with is the couple thinking about it in terms of their wedding as opposed to the church looking at it as the community's celebration of a sacrament," Willis said. "The music that's chosen would be music that is appropriate for any sacramental celebration. So we don't do popular music. We do music that is God-centered and celebrates their love in that context."

Willis said that many times the couples don't have much guidance as far as what is available, which can make the selection process difficult. He said there is "tremendous" wedding music available in the church, but they often don't know that because they are just going on the basis of things that they have heard.

With that in mind, Father Lawrence McCarty, pastor of St. Mary Church in both Auburn and Sac City, said he thinks it's a good idea to have a list of recommended, appropriate hymns available.

"If you give that to the couple, it gives them a starting point," he said. "That's what I attempt to do. A lot of times, in the back of their minds, they know some melody or song, but they can't really pin a name on it. As soon as they see the name they say, 'That's it.'

"If they want popular songs, they can play them while people are being seated, or I encourage them to blend them in with the music used at the reception. I have a simple guideline; it's liturgical or spiritual music during the wedding ceremony. I do not find objection at all from young people with regard to that either."

In his conversations with other priests, Father Mark Stoll, pastor of St. Joseph Church in Neptune, said they don't understand why people forget that during a Catholic wedding they are celebrating a Catholic Mass.

"One of the things that I've done to help solve that problem is with a reminder that we need to treat the Catholic wedding Mass just the same way as we treat Sunday Mass, which means that there is an opening song," he said. "The wedding party would process in with an instrumental, and then after that we have an opening song, which really creates a nice mood and environment for the celebration of the sacrament."

Especially for those who are about to get married, Sherri Rossiter, choir director at Nativity Church in Sioux City, who has been singing weddings since her eighth-grade year, broke down the rest of the music after the opening song or gathering hymn through the recessional.

"The next place for a song is the responsorial psalm, which is obviously supposed to be a psalm from the Mass. It's sung by a cantor with the refrain by the assembly," she said. "Then the gospel acclamation would be the next spot, and that also is sung by a cantor with the assembly joining in."

After that, Rossiter said the lighting of the unity candle offers an optional spot for either instrumental or vocal music.

"If it's going to be a vocal piece it should be short," she said. "From experience, brides and grooms don't like to stand there any longer than it takes to light the unity candle and go back to their kneelers."

Next, the presentation of gifts or offertory would call for instrumental music. Rossiter said a solo may be sung there, but a ritual song would be recommended. She also noted that the typical "Mass parts," such as the "Holy, holy" and the memorial acclamation could be sung.

"For the sign of peace, the only thing that is really recommended there is a soft, instrumental piece that leads into the 'Lamb of God,'" she said. "During Communion, a ritual song or one that the congregation can partake in is recommended, but I think generally you hear a solo at that point.

"Then the last place for a song would be the presentation of flowers to Mary, which is an optional item in the wedding ceremony. That's typically where the 'Ave Maria' is sung if people like that song. Then the recessional is usually an instrumental."

For those couples who have questions about musical selections in their wedding ceremony, they can contact the Office of Worship at (712) 233-7534.

Willis also suggested that parishes be attentive to providing the couples with options.

"From my experience, when I can present a bride with a beautiful and appropriate piece of sacred music, she'll take that as opposed to having 'Cousin Jenny' sing Endless Love at her wedding," he said. "Once you do that, and you do it consistently, that's what people see, and they know that that can be beautiful."