God's Gifts: God blesses family with 17 children
By RENEE WEBB
Globe associate editor
Posted May 30, 2002

IDA GROVE - When Bob and Joan Bengford were dating, he told her he wanted to have about a dozen children.

Coming from a family of 10, the prospect of a large family didn't bother Joan.

"I never had a set number of children in mind," she said. "We just took them as they came."

The Bengfords, who live on a farm near Ida Grove, look upon children as blessings from God. And they were well blessed - 17 times over.

Their children range in age from 2 to 28. They are: Troy, 28, of Ida Grove; Alicia, 26, of Long Island, N.Y., Eric, 25, of Ida Grove; Heather, 22 of Wayne, Neb.; Brett, 20, a student at Western Iowa Tech in Sioux City; Holly, 17; Erin, 16; Cody and Casey, 15; Evan, 14; Nathan, 13; Abby and Ashley, 12; Garret, 9; Tiffany, 6; Quinlan, 4; and Keegan, 2. Troy has two children of his own and Alicia has one.

"God knew I couldn't handle money. He may have known I'd have bought booze and drugs so he gave me kids to make sure I never had any," quipped Joan.

With the large family, it's no wonder that money has been tight through the years, but they trust that God will provide and he does.

"Everyday I feel God's power in my life. He takes care of us. Whenever we need something, it seems to magically appear," said Joan. For instance, just when the children will have to dress up for something someone will give them a bag of clothes with dress shirts.

Bob farms and has a construction business with their oldest son. Joan owns the H&R Block franchise in Ida Grove and Mapleton. During tax season she works full-time, but during the rest of the year she has hired help and only works one to two days in the office.

It was when she was pregnant with number 12 and 13, Abby and Ashley, that she realized she was no longer in control.

"I sort of threw up my hands and said, 'this is all up to you God, you do it,'" recalled Joan. The Lord in turn has given her the strength to do it.

So far one of the most challenging times in the childrearing came after the birth of Abby and Ashley. At that point, she had eight children under the age of five. Running errands, such as going to the grocery store, was almost impossible. She would get out of the house once on the weekend to go to the store and to go to church.

Today, the Bengfords have 12 children at home with 10 in school. Eight of them are in ball. The older ones helped her a great deal with running the younger ones to various activities and most of them are included in the household chore rotation. They rotate tasks because some chores, such as washing dishes for the large group, are less desirable. Holly, the oldest living at home, contributes by doing a lot of the running of the younger ones to practice.

While the pace can be hectic, Joan noted that she has grown accustomed to it and she is never overwhelmed.

And how much food does it take to dirty those dishes? An average meal takes about eight pounds of hamburger, eight pounds of potatoes, three quarts of beans and two gallons of milk a day. To help offset the grocery bill, the Bengfords have a garden and can hundreds of quarts every year, mainly green beans and applesauce.

For spending money the Bengford children sell sweet corn on the street every year. After a designated portion goes to school clothes, they get to decide how the money is used.

The amount of food consumed is not the only thing that is large in the Bengford house, laundry is huge. They do about 30 to 35 loads of laundry each week.

Prior to buying a 15-passenger van, they used to attend Mass at Sacred Heart in Ida Grove in two shifts.

What's it like to live in the Bengford house?

"It is usually really loud," said Holly. Despite the extra work load, she does consider it to be a blessing to be part of such a large family.

Nathan said one of the best parts about having so many siblings is always having someone around to blame things on.

Joan joked that she has made a deal with God that if she ever got them out of diapers he wouldn't send her anymore. She added that 28 of almost solid years of diapers was enough.

"I pray these kids will be my salvation because I have a lot of faults and I need all the brownie points I can get to go to heaven," said Joan.

The Bengfords pray daily as a family. During the school year, they pray at 7:30 a.m. They keep a jar in their kitchen for prayer intentions.

Joan has two role models - the Blessed Virgin Mary whom she chats with on a daily basis and her earthly mother Rita Dirksen of Danbury. She described them both as her leaning post. The Bengfords have created a shrine to Mary in their home and they belong to the Schoenstatt Marian apostolate. During tax season Joan's mother, her personal "Cinderella," goes to the Bengfords to do laundry, dishes and make a meal for the children.

"A mother is supposed to be selfless, but I do have an underlying motive for having so many kids. I want to add all these gems to my portfolio. When I go to God I know that the most brilliant ones won't be the ones I call low maintenance - the easy keepers. It'll be the ones that cause all of the gray hairs," she said.

Joan pointed out that one of the greatest gifts of a large family was the children growing up with a true sense of belonging.