Youth presentation stresses abstinence
BY RENEE WEBB
Globe associate editor
Posted May 16, 2002

CARROLL - True Love Waits was the abstinence message delivered by nine high school students and adult leaders for junior confirmation students enrolled in the Carroll-area parishes religious education program.

"It is a biblically-based program," explained Kathy Steffen, who teaches high school religious education. "This is something that teens have to deal with on a daily basis. There is so much presented to them through the media."

True Love Waits, an international campaign created in 1993, challenges teenagers and college students to remain sexually abstinent until marriage. More than one million young people have signed the pledge worldwide.

Steffen and her husband, Scott, became interested in True Love Waits after reading an article in The Globe about Jefferson's program. Six students - two freshmen, two sophomores and two seniors - from the Carroll-area religious education program attended a presentation last fall that was facilitated by Greene County teens.

After viewing the presentation in Jefferson, the Carroll group knew they wanted to offer it back home. The Steffens determined that more students were needed to help them facilitate True Love Waits. Since the parish DRE recommended it as the junior's confirmation retreat, three additional juniors were added to the team.

The high school students presented the bulk of the presentation. Adult and teen presenters alike saw value in this form of peer ministry.

"The message of abstinence is extremely important for students our age to hear, especially coming from their peers," said Jeremy Irlbeck, a junior from St. Joseph's in Dedham, who helped facilitate the presentation. "I felt privileged to have the opportunity to participate in this program and hope that our message may have affected some of the students."

Nicki Nagl, another junior presenter who attends Holy Spirit Church in Carroll, said she believed the students took the information more seriously coming from peers. It set the stage for some straightforward, frank conversation.

"They looked up to me as a role model and really thought about what it means to wait. They realized that there actually are people out there who do wait," she said. "A lot of them said they looked up to me for having the courage to stand up for this in front of my peers."

Eric Joneson, a sophomore presenter who is a parishioner at St. Lawrence Church in Carroll, pointed out that True Love Waits helped the students think about the consequences of their actions.

He wanted to become involved in True Love Waits because he believes in abstinence.

"Being abstinent, I will be better off in life and I won't hurt anyone or my family," said Joneson.

During the two-hour presentation, facilitators used games, a video, group discussion, activities and personal witness talks to convey the message of abstinence. The video stressed the fact that they could have a second chance. If they were already sexual active, they could practice abstinence from this point.

"The program is presented in such a way that they are involved, rather than just listening to us preach, which I felt is a very strong point," said Irlbeck.

The teenagers were also informed about the importance of having friends that would support them in their decision of abstinence.

About 40 to 45 confirmation candidates attended the retreat. Many said the message was good, but they thought it was a message that could be presented to younger students.Some commented that if they would have had this program in the eighth grade they might have not made as many bad choices.

"We hope to incorporate it into the religious education program at the junior and senior high level," said Steffen.

Those attending the retreat were given a True Love Waits pledge card where they could make a commitment to God, themselves, their family, friends, future mate and future children to be sexually abstinent from the present day until they are married.

The students who facilitated the True Love Waits presentation in Carroll are available to present it to other parish groups.