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MARRIAGE: Loving one another,
being open to possibilities of life

By KATIE LEFEBVRE, Globe staff reporter
(Email Katie)

Couples getting married in the Catholic Church in the Diocese of Sioux City are asked to follow certain guidelines to prepare for their big day.

“The sacrament of marriage is different than getting married by the Justice of the Peace,” said Sean Martin, diocesan director of religious education and family life. “It is different than getting married in any other place in the world. It is important to learn about what the sacrament is and to make sure that the couple understands that.”

He added that the couple is the minister of sacrament and “must intend to do what the church intends. Therefore a couple needs to know what the church intends, so they can go before the altar and before God and his people.”

Preparation for marriage is important, Martin said, as statistics show that over 50 percent of all marriages end in divorce.

“There is something different that Christ offers us within the Catholic Church in the sacrament of marriage, when we understand and practice what Christ asks us to practice,” he said. “Marriage is for loving one another and being open to the possibility of life, having children.”

The first step for couples is to contact their parish priest who will give them a description of the complete process. The purpose of preparation is to assist each couple in preparing for the vocation they have chosen.
In the diocese, marriage preparations are to begin at least six months prior to the wedding day.

Each couple must complete the FOCCUS Inventory, an assessment tool that helps the couple consider their readiness for marriage. The couple will meet with the priest to discuss the results.

“That covers a lot of background – life skills, where the people are, if they are compatible on various levels, how they feel, think and act in certain situation,” said Martin. “It is really meant for dialoguing with one another if couples haven’t discussed certain aspects – how they feel about their future in-laws, who is going to do the future financing, how they feel about doing daily chores around the house, are they good communicators and so on.”

The couple will also discuss what they think of their religious faith and practicing it, added Martin. Some of the topics are simple and others are hard topics to discuss.

“Sometimes the couples aren’t always there (on the same page), so the priest would facilitate a discussion,” he said.

A couple must also participate in at least one marriage preparation program. The options include Engaged Enrichment, Pre-Cana, Cana II and the Sponsor Couple Program.

Engaged Enrichment

Engaged Enrichment is a weekend retreat for personal formation and formation as an engaged couple preparing for the sacrament of marriage. 

The parts of an Engaged Enrichment weekend include full catechesis on the sacrament of marriage, what a sacrament is, Theology of the Body, life skills, etc. There is also a session focused on Natural Family Planning. There is a lot of discussion and time for questions.

“Several married couples help us and stay for the weekend,” said Martin. “They really get to know the engaged couples.”

A priest is present for the weekend and will celebrate Mass. Throughout the weekend, the couples will experience different types of prayer including the rosary, Eucharistic adoration and Liturgy of the Hours.

“This is a model of a lifetime for a holy, joy filled, happy marriage,” said Martin. “It is a great retreat weekend for an engaged couple.”

The upcoming dates for Engaged Enrichment are Feb. 18-19 and March 17-18 at Camp Okoboji in Milford and June 30-July 1 at Twin Lake Christian Center near Manson. The program begins on Saturday at 9 a.m. and ends on Sunday at 3 p.m. The cost is $180 per couple, which includes a room and four meals.

Pre-Cana

Pre-Cana is a one-day format of the Engaged Enrichment for those couples who cannot participate in the Engaged Enrichment, Cana II or the Sponsor Couple Program. 

The Pre-Cana offers similar topics to what is offered during the Engaged Enrichment including catechesis on the sacrament of marriage, Theology of the Body, sexual morality, an introduction to Natural Family Planning and a panel discussion with married couples. There is also time for prayer and discussion amongst the couples.
The next Pre-Cana will be held from 8:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. on April 21 at Corpus Christi in Fort Dodge. The cost is $90 per couple, which includes lunch and dinner.

Cana II

Cana II is a one-day format for couples in which one or both have had annulments or have been widowed. 
The topics of the Cana II Retreat include catechesis on the sacrament of marriage, Theology of the Body, sexual morality, an introduction to Natural Family Planning and a panel discussion with married couples. There is also time for prayer and discussion amongst the couples.

The next Cana II will be held from 8:30 a.m. to 7:30 p.m. on May 19 at Sacred Heart in Early. The cost is $90 per couple, which includes lunch and dinner.

Sponsor Couple

The Sponsor Couple Program involves meeting with a married couple, usually in the home of the married couple. The two couples generally meet five to six times to complete the material in the resource book.  The pastor will provide the name of a couple that has been trained in the Sponsor Couple Program.

“They cover the topics of the sacrament of marriage, finances, communication, intimacy and those types of things,” said Martin.

For more information about the marriage preparation programs contact Angie Brosnan in the Office of Family Life at (712) 233-7530 or angelab @scdiocese.org. Registration for the programs is preferred seven days in advance and a deposit is requested of half the cost of the program with registration, which is non-refundable.
To register go to www. scdiocese .org or send fees and registration to Diocese of Sioux City, Office of Family Life, PO Box 3379, Sioux City, IA 51102-3379. The website also provides the diocesan guidelines and policies for the sacrament of marriage.